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Friday, June 11, 2010

Day 5

Allison made it throught the night again but barely according to her as "nurse ratchit" was her nurse for the night. Allison was convinved and paranoid that she was trying to kill her by giving her the wrong medicine and tying a turnakit on her arm during the night.  Regardless, Allison will have a different nurse tonight.

The ketamine is up to 60mg an hour, which is enough to special k to make about 60 people feel "special".  Her pain is completely gone and is using a normal cotton sheet for the first time in about 12 years.  She has lotioned her left leg without any pain.  Tears have been streaming down her face quite frequently as she can't believe how she feels.  "If only it stays this way" she keeps saying.  Allison has stated that she has a new outlook in life no matter how much relief she ultimately gets after being taken off the ketamine.  "The only thing that I care about is my family and friends, I am a wife first, a mother second, and a daughter/sister, and friend next.  My career as a teacher completes me but that comes after everything else."

To get Allison through these past few days, I have been reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to her.  She tries to keep focus on my voice and words as "fairies" "demons" "ghosts" "monsters" and "bright colors and sparkles" float around the room at the same time.  These are just some of the things she tells me and will not let me in on what she calls "very very bad things".  One can only imagine what this can possibly be.  She has told me that she has seen explosions, fire, and death quite often.  I think it is because we watched the movie 2012 just before coming to New York.

Allison is in PT now for the second time today and all of her treatment team have never seen a ketamine infusion patient handle this as well as her despite how bad it has been for Allison.  She has set a new record at the hospital for getting the highest dose of ketamine while maintaining her medical well-being.  Most people have told them to stop the treatment while Allison keeps telling them to raise the does and keep it coming.  She is so scared that the pain will come back but it prepared to handle again if it does.  We thank all of our friends and family that support us if or when it does.  Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Something good comes out of everything.  No matter the end result, Allison and I have been brought even closer together, if that is even possible.  We have experienced this together.  We both know what is important in life; friends and family.  Stop fighting, stop complaining...enjoy what you have and don't take a single moment for granted.  Life to too short and way to precious to have resentment, hatred, grudges, and fear.  Love life, love friends, and love your family.

We are on our way home tomorrow as soon as Allison is medically cleared.  The ketamine will be slowly titrated tonight starting a midnight until it is no longer being infused, which will be about 5a.  She will then be off the ketamine for 5 hours and we will be on our way.  The recovery for Allison following this will be a good 4-5 days of needing to be on some anti-psychotic medication.  She will then slowly get her own mind back over the next week or two and hopefully feel "reborn"  She will still need some "booster" treatments in an outpatient setting in Dover at Wentworth Douglas Hospital.  This is all part of the treatment to keep the pain away.  By the start of the new year 2011, Allison will hopefully only need a 2-3 day outpatient infusion of ketamine for a 4 hour period, 3-4 times a year or less without being on any pain medication for the first time also in over 10 years.  We will be having a narcotic yard sale when we return.  Just kidding....although I know some of you were hoping otherwise.

The doctor has told us that the bill will be in the mail  Oh, we can't wait.  It sound s as though a couple more fundraising events will need to be planned and your all invited.  We cannot wait to get the hell out of here although every moment has been worth it in the long run.  We miss you Griffin and love you very much.  Hang on to the loose tooth, we don't want to miss your first lost tooth.

Thanks to everyone!  We love you all!
In hope and love, Greg (and Allison if she could write)


  1. Beverly KirkpatrickJune 13, 2010 at 7:38 AM

    I am so proud to have u as my son...and so so sorry allison and YOU have had such a horrible chapter in your life dealt to u... I will take YOUR words to heart...being happy and life being to short for anything but love...Again love u both and of course GRIFFIN...Love Mom

  2. Greg and Allison you have unbelievable strength and courage. You are loved dearly! -Catherine